Aging and the Life Cycle

Last week, I went to a new doctor, a specialist I had never seen before. She remarked on my name, Clayton, as a name not often seen in “women of your generation.” I was dumbfounded, and felt like slapping her. “My generation,” indeed. What did this little punk know?—she looked about 12 years old. I regained my composure and we managed to get on just fine, but I reflected on that statement for awhile after that visit. (Actually, I was rather startled at the degree of my reaction, and the duration of it.)

The next day, a haircut scheduled, I went to my hairdresser and, in conversation, she mentioned that people like me, in my “golden years,”……I admit I couldn’t even hear what followed. “GOLDEN YEARS!” DAMN.

Then, a couple of days later, I received an email from one of my clients. She was passing along some humor, which I love to receive, and it was addressed to “my more mature friends,” and then proceeded to tell some jokes of interest to “elderly” people (that exact word was in the email) having to do with laxatives and Depends.

That was it. In the space of 4 days, I had been referred to, personally, as an old lady three times. Then…making matters worse… I received my Social Security earning statement, which has now become an annual event. (When does that happen? When they get wind of people referring to me as “old?”)

So what’s the message here? Is this the time to dye my hair? Get a face lift? Retire? Buy a plot?

In times like this, I have to realize that I am listening (and thinking) with a filter of being an American in a western culture that worships the young. I must open my mind (change my filter?) and think about Chinese medicine and what the sages say. (A more educated and open-minded version of a crystal ball?) After all, the Asians revered age, saying that wisdom is the proprietary advantage of those who have lived longer and experienced more.

The stage of life I’m referring to is the Metal stage. (All cycles have stages, whether the cycle is short, such as a year, or long, such as a lifetime.) The Metal stage is said to be characterized by “decrease.” We see this as the waning of the length of days in Autumn, and the waning of youth and fullness in age. Ok, so far so good. I am on board with this. I’m not blind to the mirror: silver hair, small lines on my face, and droopings here and there. (Note: I’m not being specific as to where.)

(Let me pause here to tell you that I just heard a famous “foodie” on the radio describe the sweetest fruit as having shrunk just a bit in its wrinkled skin..I like that. I also love the look of the maples turning color outside, and the smell of the leaves rotting in autumn...all the sensory cues representing this stage of the life cycle.)

The Metal time of life is said to be rich with knowledge, memory and the gems of having lived and learned. This is the phase of life that is known for honor and integrity, meant to be respected. Metal, the icon of this stage, is created through pressure---the pressure of centuries of living; organic matter made stronger through time. What is created is golden, valuable, gem-like…rich….diamonds, jade, rubies.

I liked this. “Golden years” takes on a whole different cut when I think of it this way; not a disparaging euphemism at all. My task is to enter this phase of my life with the grace and strength I know I have within, and the knowledge that I can live through anything that comes my way. All is placed in perspective with age and experience. Thankfully. I'll need all the grace I can muster when eventually I have to shop for my Depends.